Classical Provocation of Thoughts & Bengzatation

Blogging is a commitment.

It’s like having to feed your pet goldfish everyday.

If you don’t, it’ll look like tasty machine guns and grenades to giant slime monsters in sewages.

Oh, that reminds me of Tupperware.

Freshness sealed in plastic goodness.

Mmm…. Spices? Nah we don’t have em’ here.

Unless you’d settle for Elven bread, would you?

Yes Mr. Lau taught me never to start a sentence with a butt.

But I’m starting it with a but.

Or did you mean start it with an assless?

However though, if you affix frogs and skirmishes to the already incomprehensible equation, you just screw everything.

Everything that ever made sense.


Damned amphibians.

Eat lead technology hellish demons!!

Ooooo seafood platter… Charge, utensils!!

Take Bengzatation as part of human evolution.

Some turn out good, some turn out fucked up.

Nature’s law.

Weaklings get eaten up and their souls, recycled.

Who said frogs don’t eat Ah Bengz?


Original author: F A I

Adopted and expanded from: Tancube – “Give me a shot to remember”



n00bz Service Announcement

Oi n00bz, go study! shoo shoo! Go away.

I’m doing this for your good. Thank me later (I expect Pinky’s Pizza).

And don’t think I don’t know you visited. I know… wahahaha…


(Effective) Application of Theory

In Financial Management terms,

Overreaction: A biased response in the share price to (public or private) information in which the initial price movement can be expected to be reversed.

Underreaction: A biased response in the share price to (public or private) information in which the initial price movement can be expected to continue.

In Timon & Phumba terms,

Overreaction: A biased response in the kiasu level to (public or private) information in which the initial (additional) panicking + studying levels CANNOT be expected to be reversed i.e:


Underreaction: A biased response in the kiasu level to (public or private) information in which the initial (additional) panicking + studying levels CAN be expected to slowly continue.


Refer to Financial Management lecture 12 for further understanding if need be.


On a totally unrelated note, actually I was reading Kenny Sia’s blog when I came across this.

Look, fellow Malaysians, linked here are the people representing you and they are the ones dictating your lives. You would probably say: “sigh… dah biasa-lah ngan antics mrk ni…” I concur aloud in sorrow. “MCBKNNCCBENGKAUDNSMCHHKCPUKIMAK“….err…..woopsie daisy?


Flirting With The Moon

My stint with the Liang family is turning sour by the day. Aunty Liang’s mind-shattering and eardrum-piercing prattles would stop at no earthly containment filters and the conventional concrete wall serves only as a medium of transmittal. Her voice is like poison to the soul. Stirring up the calm state of the mind, it creates tornadoes that would ripple through the once serene sight of a motionless sea that I tried so hard to pin up on my mind. Raging beasts equivalent to my volatile temper are provoked into consuming me bit by bit. Pure brilliance was demonstrated by enveloping the notion of vengeance in innocence. Bravo Aunty Liang, bravo. Daughter Liang’s lungs are smarter than her. Their primitive instincts prompt them to pump out the cancerous smoke that was intended for a moment of high. My respiratory system cried foul of such abuse and I just cannot take it anymore. I must get my ass out of this Japanese encampment!

Riding in the night was never a hobby of mine. Dark alleys that revealed no ends cast doubts on the existence of unwanted company, be it mortal or beings from the ethereal realm. It was drizzling and with winter approaching, I doubted that mother nature was going to be easy on me. I soothed myself with the only thing that has been keeping me alive – a steamy hot bathe, prepared my muscles for the armor-piercing winds, latched on my helmet and destination: Unit3!

My face embraced the fresh, cool breeze and finally, I could breath again! It brought about a sensation only the Almighty Lord could incite, beats cigarettes and drugs anytime. I never thought cycling in the night could be so… life-injecting. The refreshing zephyr instilled hope in me and the distinctive smell of a subsided downpour was just lingering all over. It razed all thoughts of insecurity and I was just… chillin’. This brief journey along the edge of little suburban town Carnegie was far from over. It was like a dream holiday for all my senses. With my trusty iPod intuitively playing Sunday Best by Augustana by random, you just know it is these moments that you’re going to be missing in 9 month’s time. I simply closed my eyes, rolled them to the back of my head and savoured the moment.

That was the best night ever. Even better than the one where I kissed Esther under the stars.

Yu Yee greeted me at the entrance and I was quickly ushered into a game of DotA by non other than the dota-king himself, See Kwan Chian. KC, Jinn and I played a few losing rounds until we eventually won one. Jinn sucked at Krobelus and Luna. Noob. Hahaha! Feeder to the core.

Oh well, I guess it’s always good to be able to look back in the future and think, “I really enjoyed Australia.”


Converse Goodness

Funny you know? We posted so much about KL and the places we raided (Penang, Langkawi, Ipoh) on Tancube, so much so Jinn and I split pictures to post (and every post was packed with at least 30 pictures or more). Now that Melbourne has been Tanned, not even a glimpse of it here? Graphical presentation has always been my favorite. No doubt blogging has reignited my interest in writing, I am definitely in no position to deny pictures from their throne of story-telling. I should get a camera to chronicle our outings because I came to a sad realization earlier that my W800i camera phone is just not fit for the purpose.

Never mind that some of the pictures below track all the way back to April, just sit back and enjoy the slide-show. Melissa: “Yes Fai less writing, more pictures.” Got it, got it.

I was at the zoo Jinn’s place and I encountered a polar bear who wanted to be cool.


When you see a polar bear Jinn curled up like that, I don’t think you need a brain to tell you that it was pretty frosty eh?


Oh, I almost forgot, the unveiling of Jinn’s Mafia Beemer.

Jinn: “I dare not open the boot. Later open see dead body inside.”

Fai: “Well, not too worried about carcasses man, sekali you open cockroach fly out, GG engkau.”


Fast forward a little to the tasting of the oh-so-famous Kokoblack hot chocolate. I’d say it’s a little overrated Kathryn, but it was nice, yes it was, no doubt about it. Just not as good as people testify it to be.


Mel posed with the cinnamon flavored hot choc and it’s time for some action baby! *Mel stirs stirs stirs*

Kathryn: “Nooooooo….. Don’t stir! Preserve it’s elegance while you drink. Class abit mah.”

Fai: “Don’t care lah. Stir oni.”


Oi Kathryn, wait lah take picture first. Tak sabar-sabar badak ni…


Headed over to Kat’s to bake cookies. Me cookies virgin. Found out the hard way that cookies are actually very hard to give shape and mold. Mel, your ramblings about us being slow really didn’t help… Nope, I’m pretty sure it didn’t.


Kat: “Too much raisins!! That’s why so hard to mold.”

Fai & Mel: “Too much nuts!! That’s why so hard to mold. More raisins easier to mold! More raisins, more more more!!” *pours the whole bag in* Kat: “Nooooooooooooooo……..”


Fast forward fast forward to Smith Street/Beach Street trip.


I is flowerz.


We were pretty broke after a whole day of shopping but that didn’t stop us from trying the award-winning Il Dolce Freddo’s gelato did it? Finally, Jessica revealed her carnage abilities. Scary, it was. I’m serious.


Two words: Converse goodness.

Currently dangerously hooked on to My Chemical Romance and The Used. Explains the screwed up post above. Dinner time!


Banana Punches and Banana Kicks

Being a Chinese educated person, I always thought I’d never regret knowing the language. Although to claim that I know the history and culture inside out would definitely be a baseless boast (I would not want that either), at least according to Jinn, Melissa and Kathryn, Fai is eligible to the title ‘lala’.

For once in my life, I actually regret understanding the Mandarin language. For all the wrong reasons, if you asked. Hint: people from Mainland China. My landlady in particular, speaks in a very fucking annoying tone, pitch and pace. Trust me, you wouldn’t wanna press the ‘talk’ button on her system. The tone is disturbing, pitch is high and the pace, Mach 100000. “Anything she says, she would sound like your house is on fire.” (Esther, 2007) Rightly put Esther. Hey Jinn, you think Roy & Mili is a nuisance? Try her. Your Roy & Mili, wet wet water only lah…

“So what does all that have to do with understanding the language?”, you may ask. If I didn’t understand Mandarin, I would only find her speeches maddening. Since I do understand what she has to say, I have to bear with the fact that she is a very stubborn and downright stupid woman. What are the bases of my accusations? Well she loves doing things the hard way when there is an easy way out. For example, she saves on all the wrong things – money for a new sponge when the old one is dying to be incinerated; and spends on all the wrong things – daughter spending/smoking like there’s no tomorrow but she says not even a word, stocks up groceries like there’s gonna be a war tomorrow (and stops me from doing it because it takes up space). If I were to list down everything, this whole blog would not be enough for me to be exhaustive.

So Jinn, the next time you find the two infuriating, try imagining that you understood every single thing they say and said. In a situation like that, sucks to be me man.


I wouldn’t wanna be bitching discussing about tutors and lecturers on my blog like Sook Yan does but hey, just to share something interesting ok?

My ‘Commercial Banking & Finance’ tutor is out-and-out evil. Whether Kym Brown is bent in a good or bad way, is entirely up to your interpretation. When the assignment was gonna be due the next day, pretty reasonable to foresee massive absence in tutorials right? Well I was pretty much done with the assignment so I went. On the sight of the puny number of students in class, she announced that she was gonna do a short revision for the final exam in which the topics covered during the short discussion, will never be repeated on week 13. We were warned not to tell absent students that we did revision and she justified her actions by saying that this would only be fair to students who attended all the tutorials. Well I was there so I’m not complaining.

And during last week’s tutorial, she insisted that two (China) Chinese students read an article that was about one page in length. When a guy reads ’90s’ (in the context of an article about the failures of risk management systems in the past) as ’90 seconds’, throughout the paragraph, you know he has some issues with the lingua franca don’t you? The two of them were struggling with the task and she just kept quiet, occasionally correcting them when the error was too ‘enlightening’. By enlightening, I mean you’ll be dumbfounded by their ability to pronounce words in ways you can’t even imagine. Ok fine my friend and I were laughing our asses off (he’s Caucasian so he’s forgiven, makes me the hypocrite there) but I honestly think Kym should have stopped them from being the laughing stock.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying she’s a bad tutor, she has done a very good job at tutorial-ing, just a little evil at times.


The Best

Dear Father,

‘You always wanted the best for me.’ – I’m ashamed to admit that it took me quite a few sleepless nights to actually realize that fact.

Since birth you’ve showered me with immense love and material provision. The pictures Mum showed me depicted a young child, surrounded by parents who bore hope and faith in him. You never doubted the person I was growing up to be.

You have not been the perfect Dad for me just like I have not been the perfect son for you. You had to be away from home to put food in my mouth and I never understood that when I was young. I always hoped that my Dad could pick me up from school just like the other kids who had parents waiting for them in stationary cars. I looked forward to your return every weekend (not forgetting our routine Sunday morning ‘Cheong Kong’ coffee sessions) and always hated it when you had to leave on Sunday nights.

I too, did not prove easy to handle. I was never a top-scorer in class and I sure didn’t put in my best to be one. Initiation was never my game and procrastination was my favorite past time. Sure I didn’t join the Mafia ‘tai koh’s in school, play truant and hog cigarettes like some of the kids in school but I’ve got to say I was a pretty volatile match-head who wasn’t slow at finding rough surfaces.

Yes there had been frictions between us and there always will be. Sparks are inevitable where the human factor is present just like racism in Malaysia would never vanquish. I said things in an undiplomatic fashion and that is just so typical of me. I should never have said those things and I know I hurt your feelings. “Kuan zhi yat yin, sei ma lan zhui”. Words deployed can never be retracted. Nails hammered can never be removed without leaving a hole. Repentance is what haunts me and forgiveness is what I seek… but you’re my father. I know forgiving me is not an issue at all because you love me.

We’re always learning. That’s why we have brains and animals have less developed ones. I’ve learned a lot and definitely realized heaps of things.

I’m sorry I have been as stubborn as I have been and I know I don’t take advice like how a sponge sucks up water but rest assured, I’m trying to change for the better. And of course, I want you to know that I love you too, ah pa, as much as you love me.

Happy birthday papa! Thank you for everything that you have provided me with!